Time For A Job Change

Yesterday was the day I'd find out if I got the new position at the hospital. And the results are in: NO! I DID NOT GET THE JOB! My thoughts at this juncture are poop. I honestly can say that I feel like crap. I was asked by my supervisior to apply for the position, allowing myself to move on and upward at the hospital. Unfortunately, at the end of everything, I missed out on the position by ONE MEASLY LITTLE POINT! ONE POINT! Not only was I informed that it was a very close "race" but I even interviewed better than the other person. According to my supervisor, ideally I had answered everything correctly, to the point where she really wanted me to be the chosen one. Since she was not the only person looking at everything, she really didn't have the final say in things. The story of my life. I have missed out on many things by one ot two points and this has just solidified how unlucky I can really be. I'm glad for the person who wanted this position, however, there are many things about this unfortunate situation that bothers me.

Some issues are still bothering me, though. I have worked at this facility for almost two years now. I was hoping this would have been my opportunity to move up and onward and show my co-workers how good of a therapist I truly am. Although the issues that bothers me more is the fact that the other person has only worked with us, and ever, a total of 6 1/2 months! Now how does that look to you? If you applied for a position and they gave it to someone else who is less experienced than you are, how do you think others would look at you? Think maybe you aren't adequate enoguh or a good therapist? It may cross my mind. According to my supervisor, "We'll find something for you," although this comment really doesn't seem change things or the way I am feeling. And right now, I am feeling like I'm not adequate and that I need a change. I am feeling like I have things ripped away from me, and that no matter what I try to do, I'm just going to be pushed right back down on my ass, where I belong.

I don't necessarily want pity, but maybe a little. Why is it, when you hope for something worth while to happen, it just doesn't. When you try to move on, you can't! How do you change this, but you really can't. I can say that I am honesly looking for a new position or job, and not necessarily here. Joe said he'd be more than willing to stand behind me no matter what I decide. So, yes, I will be looking around for something a little more than what I have now. As Joe reminds me, maybe this is suppose to happen, as in things happen for a reason. Hopefully there will be something out there that is right for me. What I do know is no matter where I end up, hopefully the politics won't keep screwing me over as it seems to keep happening here. Where ever we do end up, hopefully things will just fall into place, and we won't have to make too many drastic changes to begin with.