Time For A Job Change

Yesterday was the day I'd find out if I got the new position at the hospital. And the results are in: NO! I DID NOT GET THE JOB! My thoughts at this juncture are poop. I honestly can say that I feel like crap. I was asked by my supervisior to apply for the position, allowing myself to move on and upward at the hospital. Unfortunately, at the end of everything, I missed out on the position by ONE MEASLY LITTLE POINT! ONE POINT! Not only was I informed that it was a very close "race" but I even interviewed better than the other person. According to my supervisor, ideally I had answered everything correctly, to the point where she really wanted me to be the chosen one. Since she was not the only person looking at everything, she really didn't have the final say in things. The story of my life. I have missed out on many things by one ot two points and this has just solidified how unlucky I can really be. I'm glad for the person who wanted this position, however, there are many things about this unfortunate situation that bothers me.

Some issues are still bothering me, though. I have worked at this facility for almost two years now. I was hoping this would have been my opportunity to move up and onward and show my co-workers how good of a therapist I truly am. Although the issues that bothers me more is the fact that the other person has only worked with us, and ever, a total of 6 1/2 months! Now how does that look to you? If you applied for a position and they gave it to someone else who is less experienced than you are, how do you think others would look at you? Think maybe you aren't adequate enoguh or a good therapist? It may cross my mind. According to my supervisor, "We'll find something for you," although this comment really doesn't seem change things or the way I am feeling. And right now, I am feeling like I'm not adequate and that I need a change. I am feeling like I have things ripped away from me, and that no matter what I try to do, I'm just going to be pushed right back down on my ass, where I belong.

I don't necessarily want pity, but maybe a little. Why is it, when you hope for something worth while to happen, it just doesn't. When you try to move on, you can't! How do you change this, but you really can't. I can say that I am honesly looking for a new position or job, and not necessarily here. Joe said he'd be more than willing to stand behind me no matter what I decide. So, yes, I will be looking around for something a little more than what I have now. As Joe reminds me, maybe this is suppose to happen, as in things happen for a reason. Hopefully there will be something out there that is right for me. What I do know is no matter where I end up, hopefully the politics won't keep screwing me over as it seems to keep happening here. Where ever we do end up, hopefully things will just fall into place, and we won't have to make too many drastic changes to begin with.

Working Around the Clock and Daily Living

Two weeks ago, Joe and I decided he would take up a second job to help us pay off some of our credit cards, before we travel down that road called parenthood. Well, I am glad to say he is actually liking it! I was alittle shocked to hear him actually say he liked it, but I am glad he does! He ends up working from seven in the morning to about 8:30 at night. It really isn't all that bad, becuase I work 10-hour days as well, so it atually turns out fairly well!

I do have to say, though, it is hard for us to try to find, US time. This weekend I went out to my parents house for my last weekend of skiing, but he wasn't able to join me because he had to work. The extra money is nice, but I'd like me US time. What can I say, I enjoy being with my husband, who would have thought of that, right?!

The good things in life and right in front of our noses. You just have to be willing to grab them while you can! I have a course down in Minneapolis on Apri 4-5 to be trained as Clinical Instructor, so I can actually take a student at work. This is pretty exciting, I must say. As soon as this course is over, Joe will be picking me up and driving us over to Eau Claire for a friends wedding. So that night will be a drunken blast, needless to say!

And, on the 10th of April, I will be hosting my own Pampered Chef party at my house! I'm alittle excited about this, more so because people are going to come over and see our house! We never had a house warming party, so this'll count a little for that! As soon as this is over with, I will be heading down to St. Cloud for another baby shower (Joe's cousin is pregnant as well). Not only will there be a shower, but it'll be a weekend of martini's at the Red Carpet (it's a martini bar) but shopping at the outlet stores!

Needless to say, it is going to be a busy time the next couple of weeks. Granted, it's not like our lives aren't busy enough already, but we might as well keep on traveling down that same road. Why slow down when life keeps on taking us forward!?

Job uncertainties....

So things at work have been changing and I decided that I might have to be a part of this change. One of our co-workers took our supervisor position and left her position open working on the Neuro/Trauma floor. I have been contemplating whether or not this is something I am interested in taking. A good friend of mine whom I work with also wants this position. I feel bad, as if I may be taking something from her. Unfortunately for her, I do have seniority over her and would be offered the position before her. But I still feel guilty taking the job. I have enjoyed doing what I am currently doing, however, I feel that I need to challenge myself a little more. I don't feel that I am using my knowledge to it's full extent. I think that if I take this position, I will be able to challenge myself more, but I will also be able to show my other co-workers I really do know what I am doing. I am very nervous and hesitant though. I am terribly afraid of taking that next step in my career. I see how many of you all have had the opportunities of changing jobs and moving up in the world. Is this something I should be so worried about? I know I am afraid of moving forward...I know I'm afraid of doing anything out of my ordinary. But I honestly don't know what to do. Joan, who took the supervisor job, has taken me into her office and said I'd do wonderful up there. I honestly think I would too but I don't know how to move forward and leave something behind. Something I was enjoying. I know the Trauma floor is intimidating. But the great thing about it are those patients who had a stroke and have a droopy face that turn and smile at you, and say thank you. Those patients that initially can't move, but you reteach them to take their first steps again.....It is amazing to see them move (literally) forward. It is truly great. To know you are helping someone over-come a major road block in their lives is amazing.

Do you just stay where you're at, and watch things go by? Or do you jump in with both feet, even if you are terribly intimidated by the floor and the patients you'll be treating? I just don't know how to go about things. I think I want to do it, but I am just scared I won't like it, or I won't be what I think I am. What do you do? If anyone has any ideas for me, at this point I'd taken them with open arms!! I'm a little confused and not sure which way to go.